Life Lessons : How to stabilize your mind?

Turning off the switch....

While I was watching Vampire Diaries, an idea struck upon me. If there is a switch than can be turned off inside our brain so that we are no longer overwhelmed by our emotions and feelings, we can save ourselves from being shattered like glass during difficult times. Is it just a vampire thing or is it humanly possible? It appears to me that it is in fact possible. I have tested that theory and it has proven to be effective. But I am not having an actual switch in the brain. Then what is analogous to that? Let us see.

Be aware

The first step to doing anything with your mind is to be self-aware. Try to analyze what you are feeling, why you are feeling etc. 

Suppose, you are devastated by something that happened and you cannot prevent yourself from playing it back and forth in your mind. What can you do to actually move on?

Often depressing situations arise from either loss or regret, sometimes both. For example, you may have lost something or someone precious to you, literally or figuratively. On the other case, you may be thinking repeatedly of what you could have done or should not have done in a particular scenario in the past. Let it be either of the above two. What can give you the strength to move on? Knowing one thing - at present there is or there isn't anything you could do to change the situation and make things better. 

Find your diversion

Once you know what you can or cannot do, you have to find a temporary but  effective diversion. It helps in not being consumed by the emotions flowing through you. Every time you feel like you are not active in the present moment, that your mind is wandering off to that same thoughts or memories, you take the help of your diversion. It could be anything or anyone that cheers you up. A TV program or a friend.

Add a dose of your new diversion into every day of your life. This will help you get things done without you spiraling down and becoming incapable. Then you wait. Wait for a time when you don't need the diversion as much as before. 

Turn off the switch

The last step is turning off the switch. You need to get back on track and feel good again about life, about yourself, about everything. What does it mean to turn off the switch? You are doing something physically majority of the time but you might be passive about it if it is something you do daily. This lets your mind wander off. Therefore, increase your attention to 100%, no matter what activity you are doing. If you are making tea, watch how the water is filled, watch how it boils, actively think of the next thing to do with full mind, like reaching the tea powder tin from the cabinet, taking a spoon, etc.

This slows down time to every second of your action. In other words, you don't have that time gap to think of anything else. When you are aware of every second, you automatically feel in control. Try this for a few days and you will start noticing that the things you do daily are not that depressing. It may not be exciting but at least it is not tragic. 

In effect, turning off the switch is just like preventing the mind from switching to the depressing-memory mode from the real-happening mode.

A final note

In the beginning stage, do share with your dear ones the way you actually feel, but once you are making progress, stop iterating. The reason is simple. Initially you need support from other people. You need them to help you come to terms. You get different perspectives and that is good. Later on, when you are moving on slowly, repeating the same bad experience you once had, what you once felt, is like re-experiencing it again through your own words. Clearly, this way, both parties will be exhausted. Moving on will be slowed down. 

The big picture

Everything turns out to be okay and well with time. To make it possible, you just have to want it to be.