Life Lessons : How to stabilize your mind?

Turning off the switch....

While I was watching Vampire Diaries, an idea struck upon me. If there is a switch than can be turned off inside our brain so that we are no longer overwhelmed by our emotions and feelings, we can save ourselves from being shattered like glass during difficult times. Is it just a vampire thing or is it humanly possible? It appears to me that it is in fact possible. I have tested that theory and it has proven to be effective. But I am not having an actual switch in the brain. Then what is analogous to that? Let us see.

Be aware

The first step to doing anything with your mind is to be self-aware. Try to analyze what you are feeling, why you are feeling etc. 

Suppose, you are devastated by something that happened and you cannot prevent yourself from playing it back and forth in your mind. What can you do to actually move on?

Often depressing situations arise from either loss or regret, sometimes both. For example, you may have lost something or someone precious to you, literally or figuratively. On the other case, you may be thinking repeatedly of what you could have done or should not have done in a particular scenario in the past. Let it be either of the above two. What can give you the strength to move on? Knowing one thing - at present there is or there isn't anything you could do to change the situation and make things better. 

Find your diversion

Once you know what you can or cannot do, you have to find a temporary but  effective diversion. It helps in not being consumed by the emotions flowing through you. Every time you feel like you are not active in the present moment, that your mind is wandering off to that same thoughts or memories, you take the help of your diversion. It could be anything or anyone that cheers you up. A TV program or a friend.

Add a dose of your new diversion into every day of your life. This will help you get things done without you spiraling down and becoming incapable. Then you wait. Wait for a time when you don't need the diversion as much as before. 

Turn off the switch

The last step is turning off the switch. You need to get back on track and feel good again about life, about yourself, about everything. What does it mean to turn off the switch? You are doing something physically majority of the time but you might be passive about it if it is something you do daily. This lets your mind wander off. Therefore, increase your attention to 100%, no matter what activity you are doing. If you are making tea, watch how the water is filled, watch how it boils, actively think of the next thing to do with full mind, like reaching the tea powder tin from the cabinet, taking a spoon, etc.

This slows down time to every second of your action. In other words, you don't have that time gap to think of anything else. When you are aware of every second, you automatically feel in control. Try this for a few days and you will start noticing that the things you do daily are not that depressing. It may not be exciting but at least it is not tragic. 

In effect, turning off the switch is just like preventing the mind from switching to the depressing-memory mode from the real-happening mode.

A final note

In the beginning stage, do share with your dear ones the way you actually feel, but once you are making progress, stop iterating. The reason is simple. Initially you need support from other people. You need them to help you come to terms. You get different perspectives and that is good. Later on, when you are moving on slowly, repeating the same bad experience you once had, what you once felt, is like re-experiencing it again through your own words. Clearly, this way, both parties will be exhausted. Moving on will be slowed down. 

The big picture

Everything turns out to be okay and well with time. To make it possible, you just have to want it to be.

Wardrobe Minimalism - Should we or should we not??

HeLLo aLL,

We hear about minimalism very often nowadays. It makes me think.. hmm.. is it possible for everyone??

Before that, what is minimalism?

It is a choice of life style. You own only as much as required. You do not accumulate materials over time. This keeps your place, mind and hence life, less cluttered. It may be applied to household things, wardrobe, anything and everything. Less wastage and more savings.

What are the challenges?

Changing your life style all of a sudden itself is a challenge. It means changing your habits. Now, habits don't change that easily, do they? When we see things, we like things and we want things. This is a loop. How do we get out of that loop? By putting ourselves in a conscious mode. What it means is that, when we have the urge to acquire something, we need to stall it. Then start asking questions to ourselves like do we really need it, can it be avoided, is it replaceable to an existing thing etc etc. The whole aim is to reduce wastage.

Now that we understand minimalistic approach, how to apply that to our wardrobe?

First of all, we have 2-3 things to analyze. For example:

1. Do we have a job, if then what kind of job, what is the suitable job-wear ?
2. Do we go out a lot, if then what kind of places do we go, what is the most comfortable wear for us ?
3. Do we have personal style or would we like to find out one ?

Work-wear

We live in a time when the range of jobs is too wide to comprehend. If you are in a work-from-home scenario, you need to just focus on your outgoing wears. Otherwise, you have to figure out what works best at your job. Most of the work environments have a dress code. It could be completely formal or casual-formal. Now, it is time for you to go back and think what type of work-wear suited your body and your personality. Once you have done that, list down a few colors that you like wearing. This shall be your color palette.

Plain colors are well-suited for work. However, not to be boring we can add some less complicated prints and patterns that are easy on the eyes. You have to get your work done, so does everyone!:D The tricky part is to stay on your color palette. You choose red, black and white, say, then your wardrobe is built on these colors only. It could be different shades and tints but the major color needs to be one from these three. 

Finally, the main point and the most stressful task especially for women. Limit the number of pieces you own to a sufficient minimum. It may be 10 or 20, your pick. But always keep a check that it is not multiplying beyond the limits with time. By pieces we mean, pants, skirts, shirts, blazers etc separately counted. You should have a vision of how these pieces when put together differently each time, gives a different look. This may need some trial and error but past a certain period of time, it will come naturally to you.

One of the perks of minimalistic wardrobe is that shopping becomes easy. You know your colors. So you can focus on material and comfort. You need not be too much worried about price because you are going to use that piece in multiple ways and for a long time. Since you have acquired the talent of identifying pieces that go together, you know if a new one will stand out or blend-in with the rest of your wardrobe.

Every now and then, you can redo your wardrobe by adding a new color or adding a new style or pattern to bring a fresh look. Remember to get rid of those pieces that have served its time and you are no longer wearing.

Casual-wear

It is best to keep a separate wardrobe for casual outgoing wears. For selecting your casuals, you have to first be aware of the climate changes and what is best for each climate. Now divide the wardrobe accordingly. Suppose the predominant seasons are Summer and Winter, you have Summer wardrobe and Winter wardrobe. Except those clothes that can be worn in both climates, like jeans, only one of these season clothes should be in you active wardrobe. The rest should be neatly folded and sealed away until the next season hits.

I personally do not like limiting the colors or patterns for my casual wear. Without that, I can manage to limit the pieces. But for some, it might be better to choose a color palette, just like the work-wear. '

The main point is if you go out more often, depending on where and on what occasions, you can change the ratio of type of pieces you own. Some people party more. Some people spend more time with friends at restaurants or movies. Some might have a hobby that they pursue after their day job like, as a musician or artist. Accordingly, select a sufficient minimum number in each category of going out occasions. Remember that its not the complete look that is counted as one piece, it is each individual item in the look.

You can define your style or you can be a different person each day. It is completely your choice. The key point is never buy anything because it looks good on the eyes, it must be looking good on you. Also, take some time to find out the combinations with your existing pieces. You may be surprised to find some new looks that were hiding in your closet all this time.

Final word.

Never keep anything in the wardrobe that you don't use anymore just because you think you might use at some point or because of  sentimental value. Toss them over to somebody who can actually use them now. This will help you as well as them. It is a win-win.

:) :)