Life lessons : How to save ourselves from the Deception of Perception!

Perception is the way we see and interpret things in our daily life. As children, we do not have anything in our brain to recollect and relate. Hence we perceive everything as they are.

As time goes by, our experience with the world creates perceptions. Thereafter, even when we are confronting something new, our memories will play a role in creating a new perception at that instant. So perceptions have a compound effect. Another major factor affecting creation or modification of perception is adopting others' perception. We lend a close ear to what people has to say throughout our life. We fall deeply for their words and emotions while trying to connect with them. But we must understand that what we accept and what we represent is our choice. And the choice must be made  consciously supported by our own logical reasoning. This will save us from the biggest life-eater called 'regret'.

There are pros and cons to perception. Most of us are not aware that it can immensely affect our life. Let us try and understand how to deal with perception when it tries to deceive us.

1. Instant like or dislike to someone   

We meet new people almost everyday. Sometimes without any interaction we feel an intense liking or hatred to someone we just met. Liking could be because we perceive the person in some way as an attractive person. It could be either looks, cheerfulness, appealing personality etc. This can lead to a conversation and even a relationship under the right circumstances. Similarly, feeling an inexplicable hatred to a new person might also be related to looks, personality etc but this time in a negative way. This can prevent us from having an interaction with someone who is actually not anything like what we initially felt. 

What we must do : If you like somebody instantly, don't show that explicitly until you have a reasonable interaction and you have solid reasons to believe that the person is good. Wait for the right time to start any relationship, even friendship.You need not act doubtful but you also need not let that person know more than required information. Develop the skill to communicate openly at the same time being careful. We humans being emotional and dramatic, this can prevent heart breaks. 

Half the same rule applies if we do not know why we despise someone despite having little conversation. We might have some subconscious reasons and we must make the effort to find out what they are. This is how we grow mentally as an individual. Especially if someone is nice to you or at the least have done nothing wrong to you, and the situation is such that you cannot avoid this person completely, it is better to give a chance. After many interactions, if the image gradually changes, you realize that your perception was wrong and you have a new friend. On the other hand, if you have good reasons to keep a distance, then so be it. 

As we are social beings, people in our life can make us or break us. Hence, our perceptions about them should always be tested and confirmed with time and patience.

2. Acting on situations

Everyday is a new situation. We make so many decisions daily and most of the time we make it unknowingly. Even if it is a day at work or day at home or day at vacation, every second we spend is a decision that we make on how to spend. If we watch closely enough, there are some underlying factors that make us arrive at our decisions. In fact, 'the everyday you' is a reflection of your perception of life as a whole. How you see life has the power to make one a happy and contented soul or a depressed and self-killing soul.

We perceive some situations as difficult and some as easy to handle. This is solely because of what we have learnt so far from life and people. But the important thing we must understand about life is everyday is new. The correlations that your brain makes need not always be true. You may have had 10 continuous bad days. Doesn't mean the 11th day is going to be bad. The reverse is also true. 

What we must do : Every significant decision made must be leading towards something better or at least it must not make the situation any worse. Except for emergency situations where we do not get time to think much, rest of the time, try to question as to why this decision is the right one. Also, if possible, run it through some valuable people in our life. Any of them might present us with a totally different perception and this might lead to a ground-breaking insight. Once we have all information needed and we have thought in all directions, and we know why we are doing what we are doing, we will feel much lighter and confident. 

3. The gut

There may be instances when we act immediately on our gut feeling. The gut is something caused by our layered perception over the years which made us who we are today. We may not think deeply over why the gut says what it says. But if we do, we may be able to peel of the layers and find the core reason. For instance, someone may have the skills you admire but that someone may not be the best life partner for you. Our gut will definitely take us in the wrong direction in such complex circumstances.

What we must do : Validate our gut. Living our life smart is just having our well-thought reason for everything we do. If so, it doesn't  matter even if you find yourself wrong later. We update our perception and move on without sulking over it. One way to validate is listing all the possible reasons why our gut may be wrong. Often we realize things late. This blind-side effect is very tricky to handle. We must exercise our self-awareness like a routine check up. Usually the things that upset us or our deeply unsatisfied cravings are the reasons why we become blind to some obvious things. Like previously said, run your gut through important people in your life. Lay down their opinions in a table and try to figure out if what your gut wants you to do, is actually what you want.

At the end of the day, the way our life turns out to be is the way we steer ourselves in times of smooth waves and big tides.